Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling Parents
Chapter 3: Make Your Parents Think It Was Their Idea All Along
PRINCIPLE 3:
Get your parents excited about what YOU want
Have you ever noticed how quickly parents say "no" to your ideas, but how excited they get about THEIR ideas? It's like there's some unwritten rule that kid ideas are automatically suspicious, but parent ideas are brilliant!
Well, what if I told you there's a super-secret technique that the smartest kids use to get what they want? It's called "planting the seed," and it's all about making parents think that what YOU want was actually THEIR idea all along!
A Tale of Two Approaches
Let me tell you about two different approaches. First, there's Carlos. Carlos really wanted a new bike for his birthday. His strategy? Ask directly: "Mom, Dad, I want a new mountain bike for my birthday. The one with 21 gears and shock absorbers. It costs $199."
His parents' response? "That's way too expensive, Carlos. Your current bike is perfectly fine."
Now, let's look at how Aisha handled a similar situation. Aisha also wanted a new bike, but she took a completely different approach.
One day while riding bikes with her dad, she said, "Dad, have you noticed I have to pedal twice as hard as you to keep up? I think I might be outgrowing my bike."
A week later, she mentioned casually, "My friend Jasmine got a bike where the seat adjusts as she grows. Her parents said it actually saves money in the long run because they won't need to buy a new one every couple of years."
Then, when they were watching TV and a commercial for a bike store came on advertising a sale, she said, "Those bikes look really safe with their new braking system."
Three weeks before her birthday, her dad said, "You know, I've been thinking. You really have outgrown your bike, and it would be safer for you to have one that fits properly. Maybe we should look at getting you a new one for your birthday."
Aisha's response? "Wow, that's a great idea, Dad!"
Did you catch what happened there? Aisha got exactly what she wanted, but her dad thought it was HIS idea! That's the magic of "planting the seed."
Why This Works: The Parent Psychology Secret
Parents LOVE solving problems and having good ideas. It makes them feel smart and helpful! When you directly ask for something, you're putting them in the position of having to say yes or no. But when you help them discover an idea themselves, they become invested in it.
Think about it: Which feels better to you—when someone tells you what to do, or when you figure something out yourself? We all prefer our own ideas!
The Three-Step Seed-Planting Process
Here's how to master this technique:
- Plant information, not requests
Instead of saying "Can I have...?" or "I want...," share interesting facts or observations related to what you want. - Space it out over time
Don't dump all your hints at once. Plant little seeds of information over days or even weeks. - Get excited about THEIR idea
When they finally suggest what you've been hinting at, act like it's the most brilliant idea you've ever heard!
Real-Life Examples That Worked
The Sleepover Strategy
Ten-year-old Noah wanted to have a sleepover with three friends, but his parents usually said no to sleepovers on school nights. Instead of asking directly, he mentioned on Monday how his friend's parents had found that Friday sleepovers were a great reward for completing all homework for the week.
On Wednesday, he talked about how much fun it would be to make homemade pizzas sometime. On Thursday, he mentioned that his friend Jack had been feeling a little sad lately and how hanging out with friends always cheered him up.
By Friday, his mom said, "You know, maybe you could invite a few friends over for pizza and a sleepover tomorrow night if you finish all your homework today."
Noah's response? "Wow, Mom, that's such a cool idea! I hadn't even thought of that!"
The Pet Project
Eight-year-old Emma wanted a hamster more than anything. Instead of begging for one, she started checking out library books about small pets and leaving them around the house. She mentioned interesting hamster facts at dinner. She offered to help her younger brother clean his room to show how responsible she was.
When her parents were discussing what to get her for her birthday, her dad said, "You know, Emma seems really interested in hamsters lately. Maybe a small pet would help teach her responsibility."
Emma's mom agreed, thinking it was entirely their idea!
Words and Phrases That Make Parents Think
Magic Seed-Planting Phrases:
- "I read that..." (Parents love when you read things!)
- "My teacher was saying..." (Parents usually respect teachers)
- "Did you know that..." (Makes them curious, not defensive)
- "I wonder if..." (Sounds like you're just thinking out loud)
- "My friend's parents..." (Creates a little competitive spirit)
The Fine Line: Influence vs. Manipulation
Now, I need to be super clear about something important. This technique isn't about tricking your parents or being dishonest. It's about presenting information in a way that helps them see things from your perspective.
The key difference:
Manipulation is using deception to get what you want
Influence is helping others understand why your idea is good
Always stick with true information and real reasons why your idea makes sense. Never make up stories or lie—parents have an almost magical ability to detect lies!
Your Seed-Planting Challenge
Think of something reasonable that you'd like your parents to agree to. Instead of asking directly, try the seed-planting method:
- Break down your big request into smaller informational "seeds"
- Plant these seeds naturally in conversation over several days
- Be patient! This method takes time
- When your parent suggests your idea, show genuine appreciation for their brilliance
- Write down what happens in your Success Journal
Remember: The most powerful way to get what you want is to make your parents think it was their idea all along. As the famous saying goes, "There is no limit to what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit!"